Fridays from the Families:: Vacation Bible School for our Special Needs Son

Sandra is a friend, pastor's wife, and momma who has guest blogged here in the past and whose e-book I gave away a few months ago. Now she's back with a helpful post about special needs and VBS! Thanks for letting me share your words once again, Sandra.

One evening last summer, I dropped of off one of my boys at Vacation Bible School and  drove away with my younger son still in the backseat. Tears filled my eyes as I lined up with the other cars leaving the parking lot. Those parents could just drop off their kids and leave. Those parents didn't didn't have an autistic son who didn't fit in with his peers. A son still wearing diapers, who couldn't sit still for story time, who covered his ears during song time, and who stole Goldfish crackers from the other kids when they turned their backs on their snacks. So that son and I went home. 

One of the hardest things about being a special needs parent is realizing all the ways your child is different from other kids his age. Most days, I don't think much about it. He is who he is and we love him. But when we go somewhere and he just doesn't fit, when there isn't a place for him, it's hard not to get upset for him. 

This year, we took both of our boys to Vacation Bible School. Our older son David ran off to join his class. Our younger son James met his teacher and his helper at the door. The teacher had already collected information about James like his dietary restrictions, his favorites things to do, and his tendency to put things in this mouth that aren't food. She welcomed him excitedly and introduced him to his helper. I could drive away just like the other parents, knowing that James would be taken care of and have fun.

James's preschool special needs class had activities on his level. His teacher (who is an occupational therapist) created a sensory room for the kids. His class joined the other preschool class for game time and for some of the singing time. We had special needs kids in the older classes who had full time helpers with them. They were there to help or take the child out if necessary. 

What a difference one year made for my family! We are so thankful for the hard work so many of our church members put in to make sure every child was comfortable and included.

How does your church ministry to families of special needs kids during Vacation Bible School? 

Sandra is a pastor's wife and mom of two boys, in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. She is the author of Speechless: Finding God's Grace in My Son's Autism. You can find out  more on the book's Facebook page, Speechless by Sandra. 

and the tables have turned so sweetly...

I love the families we serve in Access Ministry at our church. And I love the volunteers that my husband and I get the privilege of leading.

The past week has taught me how much they love us as well.

One of our volunteers picked us up at the airport and then spent many hours with us in the first few days, letting us rest and helping us acclimate to life as a family of five. Another volunteer brought us dinner yesterday... and another will tomorrow... and another in a week. Others have been texting and emailing and Facebooking and tweeting with encouragement. (It feels weird, to be honest, to refer to them as "our volunteers;" they are simply our friends who we happened to meet by serving together.)

Our families have served us in some of the same ways - with one bringing us dinner this Sunday and others filling my inbox with messages cheering us on - and in different ways as well: offering recommendations for specialists, giving us tips on feeding our sweet girl who likes a full belly but doesn't like the act of filling it, and hugging me with a knowing look in their eyes.

At church on Sunday, a group of volunteers and parents were waiting for me in our children's ministry lobby, and I'm not exaggerating to say that it was as joyous as the greeting we received from friends and family at the airport when we returned home.

I'm used to serving.

I'm not as accustomed to being served.

But I am thankful - oh, so thankful - to be on the receiving end.

home sweet home

With all THREE of our children.

(Two of whom are puking right now. Such is parenting, right? Thankfully, Zoe is illness-free right now.)

We returned from Taiwan on Thursday, and we're settling in to life as a family of five. It's wonderful. (Even in the midst of puking and feeding issues and jet lag!)

Here are the pictures and the updates along the way...
from The Archibald Project

• Journey to Zoe Facebook album
• Taipei, Taiwan blog post
• Dingle Gotcha... Meetcha Day blog post
• Zoe's hospital release blog post

from our family's blog

• views from our hotel room this morning
• today
• the face of an orphan
• the pictures I've wanted to share for so long
• stories and prayers with our three children
• a new friend
• our journey, in Facebook status updates...

And one, from The Archibald Project, to get you started.

Soon I'll be posting about these first days, and later this week, I'm looking forward to sharing a post from Sandra Peoples about VBS with special needs! Thanks for your prayers during this time of transition for our family.

that's what they said... links helpful to disability ministry {7-3-12}

Just a few gems I wanted to share before I leave for Taiwan later today...

Ooooh, You Said Sin by my dear friend and writing colleague Jennifer Bleakley

Once our children are aware of their sin they will begin to better understand the sacrifice Jesus made on their behalf. They will begin to recognize their need for a Savior. If our children are taught that they are basically good little people who occasionally make a bad choice, they may never come to see and appreciate their desperate need for the Savior.

Pleading With God in Prayer by Tim Challies

Take heart and to see that the Lord is accomplishing something through your prayers, something greater than if he were to give you what you desire apart from fervent, tear-filled prayers. He is creating within you a greater dependence on him, he is establishing greater communion with you, he is preparing you for the final answer to that prayer, and he is giving you the privilege of cooperating with him in this world. That he is forcing you to wrestle with him in prayer flows out of his goodness, not out of ambivalence or miserliness.

Dear Parents in Our Son's Class by Patrick's parents

You will not be told anything about our son by school staff. Federal law (HIPPA) prevents school personnel from divulging any diagnoses of any children that have been placed in your child’s classroom. So, because we realize you may hear your child speak about our son, or you might notice his differences yourself, in the spirit of inclusion and understanding, we want to tell you a little bit about him and his diagnosis of autism.

what I want you to know: being a Christian isn't a free pass to judge other by Mallory via Rage Against the Minivan

I want people to know that Christians aren't always nice. I, along with my family, was ostracized from my church at the age of 14 because kids in my youth group and the adults that led the group began spreading rumors about me, such as that I was faking my seizure disorder for attention. The fact that kids were cruel was expected; after all, I was in high school, but adults hurting me was something unknown.

Don't Lose the Quiet Ones by Jennelle on Lead Small

Checking into church is painfully awkward for him. When the greeter tries to give him a high-five or tease him by sticking his name tag to his forehead, I can visibly see him fighting his primal urge to run and hide in a bathroom stall or curl up in the back seat of our family van and hide.

a spark of bravery by Lisa Leonard

I remember a sunny Saturday when David was a baby. Steve and I {although we had no money} decided to splurge and go to Baja Fresh for lunch. I gathered diapers and food for David’s diaper bag while Steve strapped him into his car seat and off we went. When we arrived, Steve went up to order while I found a highchair for David and grabbed a table for us. While I was getting organized, I saw two boys, about 8 and 10 years old laughing and pointing to David. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could tell they had noticed his small hand with only two fingers and they were making fun of him.

Seeing is believing by my dear friend Susan, the Carpool Queen

Where the world sees he can’t, I see He can. Where the world sees disability, I see His great ability to radiate grace and love and compassion and mercy and strength through the countenance of His children.

A New York Times columnist takes a look at our eugenic past and future by my friend John Knight

Finally, we have nothing to fear from the science behind those [genetic] tests [to diagnose disabilities in the womb], because they can also be used for a great deal of good. But in this culture until everyone understands the inherent dignity and value of unborn babies, those tests will be used to find and destroy children who would otherwise be born.

10 Ways to Reach Out to People with Disabilities in Your Community by Joni & Friends

People with disability often face a higher risk of being excluded in their churches and community, but you can make a difference! Here are 10 easy ways for you to start reaching out to people affected by disability in your community

if you'd like to follow our adoption journey, as we leave for Taiwan tomorrow

Here are the places to do it.

Our family blog: Dinglefest
Our Facebook page: Bringing Zoe Amanda Home
The Archibald Project: via their website and Facebook

Here are some posts from the family blog in case you want to catch up on where we are now:

• the adoption main page on our blog, which links to all our early posts
• posts with details about our travel to Taiwan, our plans while in Taiwan, and our trip home from Taiwan
• a post about how different 2012 has been that we expected
• a post about The Archibald Project joining us to document the trip

We are thrilled that in 2.5 days we'll have our daughter in our arms!